roleplay-911:

ROLEPLAYING RELATIONSHIPS 

No one ship is exactly the same. Each couple tends to come with their own quirks, their own traditions, their own struggles.

I’ve recently dug up an interesting article that categorizes relationships into 10 different kinds.

1. Survival relationships 
2. Validation relationships 
3. Scripted relationships 
4. Acceptance relationships
5. Individuation-Assertion relationships 
6. Healing relationships 
7. Experimental relationships 
8. Transitional relationships
9. Avoidance relationships
10. Pastime relationships  

If you’re interested in using these to help you roleplay a relationship that seems in at least some way, realistic, continue reading. 

Survival relationships: 

• This is made up of people who don’t feel as if they can survive on their own. 
• They feel as if they have to have someone be anything. In some cases it may literally be a case of survival.
• Think someone who provides shelter, food, job, money etc. It’s important to note that these two are codependent. 
• The relationship is often hostile and sometimes abusive. 
• Feelings of insecurity tend to run rampant! 

Validation relationships: 

• People in these relationships are those who seek validation of their physical attractiveness, intellect, social status, sexuality, wealth, or some other attribute.  
• Teenagers and young adults who are looking for a sense of identity form relationships based on sexual validation.
• The relationship tends to be a little insecure and need constant validation. 
• “Do you really love me?” 

Scripted relationships: 

• Seems to be the most perfect of relationships and everyone around them sees it as a great relationship.
• The partners are the most perfect boyfriend or the most perfect girlfriend.
• There are often power struggles in this type of relationship.
• Sexual attraction or involvement if often lacking.
• The partners are often stuck in routines. 

Acceptance relationships 

• A trusting, supporting and enjoyable relationship. 
• A very healthy and happy relationship. 

Individuation-Assertion relationships 

• Both individuals know what the others wants and needs are.
• Respect is a key factor in this relationship.
• Partners are supportive of others aspirations and dreams 
• They both recognize their individuality. 

NOTE: All types from here on tend to be transient.

Healing relationships:

• These occur after periods of loss, struggle, depression, stress or mourning.
• They’re looking for someone to “fix them” 
• Couples tend to talk about the past and their losses a lot. 
• Gentleness, support, and comfort  characterize this relationship srather than great passion.

Experimental relationships 

• These are experimental relationships.

Transitional relationships 

• This is a relationship that is a cross between the kind of relationships you use to have the kind you want.
• An “almost but not quite there” 

Avoidance relationships 

• They’re together but not close.
• They want to avoid their own deeper feelings. 
• Don’t want to “get too close” 
• Self-disclosure is low and mistrust is high. 

Pastime relationships 

• Just something recreational and for fun and games.
• Often emphasis is on fun and not deeper feelings.
• Not one likely to last.
• One night stands fall under this.

(A link to the article) 

Article: Writing Gay Characters

Since I identify as bi myself, I thought this was a very interesting article. Might help someone out. :)

- Pen

Forging Friendships

krisnoel-lionhead:

Creating believable relationships between two characters is not just important for romance. If you want people to believe that your characters are best friends, you have to work just as hard at it. There must be good reasons why they’re so close and why they’re working together toward a common goal. In real life, there’s usually some sort of event that bonds two people together and makes them closer than they were before. I met my best friend when we were forced to play kick ball during middle school gym and we were both TERRIBLE AT IT. It might seem like a simple event, but considering our ages, it was the most pressing issue during that time. The point is, there should be some sort of bonding event or a reason why two people are friends. Make a point to explain some of it and not just say, “they’ve been friends forever”

Here are some more general tips when describing friendships:

-If your characters have been thrust into some terrible situation together, be sure to explain why they’ve bonded more than other characters. Maybe they both fight well together or understand each other in a way no one else does. There has to be that moment when they both realize they can benefit or enjoy each other company more than any one else.

-The two best friends share some common ground. Is there an event from their pasts that allows them to bond easier than others? Maybe they both share a traumatic childhood OR it could be just as simple as them both sucking at Math. This is something you can play with.

-When the friendship has already been established, make sure you explain what they normally do with their time together. Do they have rituals that only they do together? What are their favorite activities? How do they interact with their other friends? These actions dictate why they’re still friends and how they’ve been friends for so long, so they’re just as important.

Obviously, there’s a lot of depth to friendship and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Building these relationships are important, not only for understanding the characters you’ve created, but exposing the personality and motivations of the protagonist. Make each character and relationship count.

-Kris Noel

My book: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15764908-lionhead

My page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6447379.Kris_Noel

I was asked to have an opinion on soulmates (as a supernatural thing) in writing, so here goes!

Soulmates. Soulmates, soulmates, soulmates.

It sounds super romantic, right? Two people were destined to be together. They’re perfect. They complete each other.

Um.

Mum.

Ugh….

Once I drew a graphite picture of a friend of mine trying to chew apart a Red Thread with her teeth. I picked this friend because she would be a good model, because the idea of an inescapable soulmate scared the living fasdflj out of her. 

I have another friend (yes, I have more than one, close your mouth-holes), who finds the idea of soulmates lovely, and even wrote a story in which they factor in. 

I’m… not sure. What if you, like Friend #1, don’t want to fall in love, don’t want to get married, don’t want to have kids, and the idea of having a life partner makes you afraid?  What if who you are as a person changes? Is it possible that you could have several different ‘soulmates,’ each at a different point in your life? Does being ‘soulmates’ mean that you have a ‘perfect’ relationship, and that you’ll see glitter and butterflies when you first meet? Or are you stuck with this person, even if you hate them? Do you have to be with them? Can you permanently screw up ‘soulmates’? It’s just… A perfect love sounds like bullshit, a fated love sounds terrifying. 

I’m not a fan of flashy, sparks, and Romeo and Juliet stories of teenagers making messes love. I think I would feel sick if that was what I had everyday. Think about it. Your soulmate, your lover that you feel electricity for, that is Fated and Your Other Half- it sounds fun, but what happens when you want to sit down, and eat some eggs for breakfast, and just look at somebody’s face? I for one don’t want to mix butterflies with eggs. It would exhaust me. No, the people that I would die for I almost never have complicated feelings or sparks or whatever for. I’m just calmed by their stupid face and I know that I would do anything for them, not because of magic. It’s really simple. 

Can magic love and soulmates and all that be good writing? Yup. It totally can, whether I find it squicky on principle or not. 
But I highly, highly advise you not to try and write Perfect Anything. ‘Perfect’ relationships are usually really annoying. Perfect couples most readers want to slap. 
Make two complete characters, that work because they have personalities, and their personalities mesh. They don’t have to at first. Maybe your soulmates don’t match right until they’ve reached the end of the novel and they got hit with the character development stick real hard. 
And, of course, think about the different parts involved. What are the downsides to being bound to another person this way? Think about it, and then write something true, something good, and I’ll put aside my own opinions and read it happily.

-Evvy

Relationships as characters

Disclaimer time!  I’m an aromantic asexual.  All I know about those types of relationships is what I’ve read/heard.  I recently made a post based on the dissonance between what I’ve read/heard about real life relationships and what I’ve read in fiction about relationships.

With that in mind, I would suggest treating each relationship as you would a character.  A perfect relationship can be like a Mary Sue.  Each relationship needs flaws and quirks.  It needs to be likeable without being extremely ideal.  Bland is never good when making a character or making a relationship, but neither is completely crazy and disjointed (well, maybe once, for either a relationship or a character, but they shouldn’t all be crazy and disjointed).  Relationships can go through their own development arcs as well, just like characters.

-Shannah

HERE you can find a good summary on relationship types.
It’s really worth reading, especially if your characters relationships are big part of the story.

Writing Rules - part of a series in no particular order

kylasedai:

Rule:  A functional relationship consists of two people who a) have at least a few things in common and b) spend more of their time together being happy than sad/upset/angry/defusing bombs/saving the world/rescuing orphans from burning buildings.

It’s not necessary for your characters to like all the same things and be attached at the hip.  It IS good (and necessary) for your characters to be into some of the same stuff, otherwise what would they talk about?  I was halfway through outlining book 1 of my series before I realized that I had made both Danny and Paige antisocial people who really wouldn’t get along with each other because all they had in common was solving the mysteries that came up – which brings me to point b.

One criticism I sometimes have of romantic subplots found in fiction is that…the couple just aren’t happier together than apart.  People get together and form relationships because the other person makes them happy (or they’re into making themselves and each other miserable, but those aren’t the relationships I’m talking about).  What do your characters do together when they’re not “onscreen?”  How do they balance their relationship between chapters?  If they weren’t running from the bad guys, would they start arguing because they drive each other crazy with no adrenaline, or would they just sit in a room and stare at each other because they’ve never had to talk about anything but the plot?  Why are they together if they drive each other absolutely bonkers?? 

Write a scene where your couple goes out on a date.  What do they talk about?  Do they make each other laugh and smile, or do they wish to God the food would come so they don’t have to sit in awkward silence?  

Relationships

“Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that they are also good for you.” - Unknown